IKE SHARP BOY

Major James (rtd) has been monitoring the movement of his only daughter recently.

In
fact, he first picks her calls to confirm the identity of the caller
before handing over the phone to her after thorough screening. But one
faithful day, her boyfriend called and major picked the call as usual.

Major: Hello! may I know you?

Caller: Sorry I want to speak with Janet sir.

Major: I said who are you and what for?

Caller: (sensing the situation at hand said) Okay Sir, I am Kafui Dey from Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.
Janets friend is presently on the hot seat and needs her help to
answer a question for 2 million Cedis. So the next voice you hear after
mine is hers, the time starts now

Major: Oh no! I am very sorry!!! Janet! Janet!!
Please take the phone, your friend needs your help..

Caller: The question is; when are you coming tomorrow?
(a) morning
(b) afternoon
(c) evening
(d) night

Janet: C

Caller: How sure are u?

Janet: 100% sure.

THE LOST THREE

A Ghanaian man, American man and Nigerian man were lost in a forest and were captured by cannibals. The king of the cannibals told the three friends that they could live if... they pass a trial.

The 1st step was to go deep into the forest and get 10 pieces of the same kind of fruits. The three men went their separate ways to gather fruits. ...

The Ghanaian man came back and said to the king, "I brought 10 apples". The King explained the trial to him.
King: You have to swallow the fruits without any expression on your face or you will be killed.
The first apple went in, but on the second one, he winced out in pain, so he was killed.

 The American arrived and showed the king 10 berries. When the king explained the trial to him, he thought to himself that this should be easy....1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8 and on the ninth berry, he burst out in laughter and was killed.

 The Ghanaian and American met in heaven... The Ghanaian man asked, "why did you laugh?, you almost got away with the trial"....then the American man replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the Nigerian man coming with Watermelons!!

PSYCH WARD

Ten mad men locked up in a Psychiatric Ward were put  to test to know the next of the insane men to discharge.
The Doctor drew a door on the wall and asked the patients to open and pass through it.

All the insane men rushed to the door to open.
However, Ike was just sitting quietly at a corner.
He sat and watched them in amazement.

After a while, The doctor noticed Ike and was glad that He had eventually gained consciousness.
The Doctor confronted Him and in a soft tone asked:


Doctor: Ike! Why are you seated?

Ike After laughing profusely yelled out: ''They are all mad!''  Doctor, the key to that door is in my POCKET!!



 

DRUNK

                                                      

A drunk driver hit and killed over fifty people. When asked by the Police to explain what happened this is what he said :

DRUNK: There were two people on the left and on the right side were people in a wedding.

POLICE: Then why didn't you hit those two on the right instead?

DRUNK: That's exactly what I did! ..I hit one of them and the other one crossed
the road to the right side towards the crowd. So I was chasing Him to hit Him as well and that's when I hit and killed all those people!


WHAT DO YOU THINK OF HIM?